Patricia Szymanski

LOT’S WIFE

      The Sunday School teacher was describing how  Lot ‘S wife

Looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason

Interrupted, ‘My Mommy looked back once while she was

Driving,’ he announced triumphantly, ’and she turned into a

Telephone pole!’

GOOD SAMARITAN 

      A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story

Of the Good Samaritan.  She asked the class, ‘If you saw a

Person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding,

What would you do?’ 

    A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence,

‘I think I’d throw up.’

DID NOAH FISH? 

      A Sunday school teacher asked, ‘Johnny, do you think

Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?’  

 ’No,’ replied Johnny. ’How could he, with just two worms.’

HIGHER POWER 

      A Sunday school teacher said to her children, ‘We have

Been Learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible

Times.   But, there is a Higher Power.  Can anybody tell me

What it is?’  

    One child blurted out, ‘Aces!’

MOSES AND THE  RED SEA 

      Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had

Learned in Sunday School.

    ‘Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind

 Enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of

Egypt.  When he got to the  Red Sea , he had his army build a

Pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. 

Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements.  

They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the

Israelites were saved.’

    ‘Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?’ 

His Mother asked.

    ‘Well, no, Mom.  But, if I told it the way the teacher did,

You’d never believe it!’

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD 

      A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class

Memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible -

Psalm 23.   She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.  

    Little Rick was excited about the task – but he just couldn’t

 Remember the Psalm.   After much practice, he could barely

Get past the first line.

    On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23

In front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous.. When it

Was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly,

‘The Lord is my Shepherd, and that’s all I need to know.’

UNANSWERED PRAYER 

      The preacher’s 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father

Always paused and bowed his head for a moment before

Starting his sermon.

    One day, she asked him why.

    ‘Well, Honey,’ he began,  proud that his daughter was so

Observant of his messages.  ’I'm asking the Lord to help me

Preach a good sermon.’

    ‘So, how come He doesn’t?’ she asked.

BEING THANKFUL

   A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, ‘So your

Mother says your prayers for you each night?  That’s very

Commendable.  What does she say?’  

    The little boy replied, ’Thank God he’s in bed!’

UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER 

      During the minister’s prayer one Sunday, there was a loud

Whistle from one of the back pews. 

    Tommy’s mother was horrified.   She pinched him into silence

And, after church, asked, ’Tommy, whatever made you do

Such a thing?’ 

    Tommy answered soberly, ’I asked God to teach me to

Whistle, and He did!’

TIME TO PRAY 

      A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night. 

‘Yes, sir.’ the boy replied.. 

    ‘And, do you always say them in the morning, too?’ the pastor

Asked.

    ‘No sir,’ the boy replied. ’I ain’t scared in the daytime.’

SAY A PRAYER 

      Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his  Grandmother’s house.  Everyone was seated around the table as

The food   was being served..  When Little Johnny received his

Plate, he started   eating right away.

      ’Johnny!  Please wait until we say our prayer.’  said his mother.

‘I don’t need to,’  the boy replied.

    ‘Of course, you do.’  his mother insisted.  ‘We always say a

Prayer before eating at our house.’

    ‘That’s at our house.’  Johnny explained.  ’But this is

Grandma’s house and she knows how to cook!’